you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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