Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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