I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I don't deserve a penis
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
