Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
