It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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