we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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