omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
