i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
