The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He shit in the fireplace
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
