ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
did you just send me my own nude
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
