Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
