drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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