everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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