week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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