You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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