Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
