Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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