D3 body, D1 cock
Sober January is a disaster.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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