we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize