When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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