Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
