I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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