this beer tastes like vomit already
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
