I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
