he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i believe in u and ur pee
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize