I CAN MOONWALK!
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
