This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
