Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
that's an acceptable place to lick
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
