Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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