My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
