I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
