Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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