of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
