I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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