it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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