Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
