We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize