Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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