im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
