Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
