I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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