Non-Jews are for practice
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
