Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
