sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
