Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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