FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
