Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
