Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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