sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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