I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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