if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
