how can u be prego again
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
My dick has a subreddit
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Randomize
