Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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