hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
