Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
