this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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