Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
