i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
