Your tits are I can't wait for
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
