I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
