Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
